My youngest child, Jacob could have gone last year but was not ready to spend the night alone. This year was a different story. His big brother used those magic words … Lazer Tag & Carrowinds.  So I filled out his forms to go knowing I would have to cancell them, knowing he would change his mind, knowing that he wouldn’t want to be away from home for a whole week …

Can you guess where this is going?  That little boy got up this morning, took his bath got dressed and was rushing me.  He was upset when the bus was late, I was waiting for him to change his mind at the last minute. He took his suitcase out  of the car and right up to the bus. hugged me (no kiss in front of other people) said bye Mama and disappeared into the bus.  Didn’t sit with his brother, he made a new friend and was fine the whole ride up there. (5 hours)

So my Boys will be fine. They will make new friends, learn more about Jesus, grow stronger in their faith and become a little more independant. They will have a blast and will never think twice about Mama being home alone.  That is how it should be.    Mama on the other hand doesn’t know what to do. I hate being home its too quiet. This is only the first day …

I heard my 9 year old say this three times. Each time I replied “be right there honey”  Hear is a truth most moms out there already know but for some reason we tend to forget time and time again.

When a child says come see you really need to go see.

When I didn’t get up and go see my son came to me and said “guess what Mama you can make a tornado with dish soap and water.” All I said kind of distracted like was “uh huh that sounds neat.”  WRONG About 5 minutes later it finally registered what he said, I jumped up and ran in to my kitchen ……

There was my angel boy draining the last of a brand new bottle of Dawn that had taken me 2 weeks to remember to buy. There was soapy bubbles and water everywhere and when he saw me a smile lit up his face and he said “Mama come see”

After taking a deep breath I went to see as he used the last drop to show me his tornado spinning and spinning until there was nothing but bubbles which he then dumped down the drain. All I can say is his hands are very clean now and so is my sink. Next time he says come see I will go and see

Make a wish

Family

Friends

Showing Off

After hot dogs and chips, we had cake and ice cream. Followed by presents. Caitlin does not like opening presents in front of everyone, but she did it anyway. )  Her cousins and a couple of friends had a ball with balloons. Just regular blow them up yourself balloons. they were bouncing everywhere. Daniel liked the four wheeler but was done after 1 ride. Bet he would love one his size better. Some of us grown ups stayed out late chit chatting and swatting bugs until midnight.

All in all it was a very good day.

I swerved. The car rocked and the puddle went swooosh! Did I miss him????

Keep going, and looky here there is another turtle, this one in the middle of the road…. I know I will get him to the other side before he becomes turtle soup…

He hissed at ME!!!!! fine he can stay there. He was ugly anyway….

Half way to work now.  Keeping an eye out for anymore puddle loving box turtles or mean old snapping turtles. Don’t wanna run over either one but I am not helping out any more snappers. hmm I see another one he looked like this

He was safe. ) He didn’t hiss at me and he didn’t make me swerve.

No Turtle Soup today! Hooray for turtle kind every where. There is something about a pretty day with birds, bees and turtles everywhere that just makes you feel good inside. Take a deep breath and enjoy that spring air. (unless you have allergies of course)

Slept wrong and boy was my body letting me know I am getting older. I think every joint popped at one point in trying to go from laying to sitting to standing.  Sounded like I stepped on bubble wrap. Chest hurt from my ribs squishing together all night in one position… ugh then  No dry towels (clean in dryer, forgot to turn it on before going to bed) of course I remember this after getting in the shower. Ever dry off with a wash rag?

Running late for work, (when am I ever not late?) forgot to grab breakfast on way out so I decide to swing by burger king. hey its payday I can spend a little right?   Drive through took forever, was really going to be late if I went the gas saving way so I jumped on the 4 lane.  Gas was low but I had 40 miles to go on my mileage. no worries.

I turn off of 301 onto Ward Blvd. its 8:10 I am late, my car shuts off.  Dead. in traffic….. sigh no power breaks, no power steering, didn’t realize I was that weak lol. got the car off the road thank goodness. Out of gas. my low fuel light never came on.  Thankfully Mike’s work is only a mile away or so.

Finally get to work. Did I mention I was off the day before taking Caitlin to the doctor? that’s a story by itself,Anyway work had piled up just a little, not for me but for a wonderful lady I work with, she does all the cutting, numbering and  hole punching and stuff (I work at a commercial printing and graphic design place) So I was doing what I could, mostly checking copy. I had to keep interrupting her to ask questions, it was like I was brand new there again…. then I messed up and a job didn’t glue right. I remember  boss saying something about having to reverse pages as he was getting hte paper but it was a few days later that I got to check that one and I totally forgot it. He forgot too so he says its not my fault, doesn’t make me feel any better.

Lunch was fun. I asked Mike to eat lunch with me, or rather me with him. and then my boss buys me lunch…. wow I was feeling really blah by then I so wanted to go home. all teary and out of sorts, chest still hurting…. (its a posture thing so don’t get all doctor on me) ugh. took a nap, lunch hour turned into lunch hour and a half…. oops

That afternoon was worse. just one thing after another.  I got off a little after 3. went by  bank oh joy what fun that was. then decided to run in dollar store and buy umbrella just in case, see that friday was our relay for life and they were calling for rain the night and next day. I was to now spend that night and half the next day outside, sleep on the ground all that…. lets say I was not looking forward to it all, I was in a pity party. while  in the store, the bottom fell out. pouring man was it pouring…. my spirits fell more.

in car now going home to get kids and go to relay.  heading out of town with a full gas tank, dark clouds all around gloomy depressing. turn on radio…. they were talking about choosing joy amidst adversity choosing each day for Christ and not self, actively seeking peace of mind,,,, choosing Joy…. choosing…… could I choose to be in a better mood? to have a better day? to let go of my bad day and find joy? peace of mind? calm seas?

went 4 lane home because the sky looked lighter that way. the further I went the lighter it got inside and out as I decided to choose joy. as I made an effort to let go of the hurt, the doom and gloom and the uglies I was holding onto.   took awhile but I was feeling a littler better when I got home… got everyone packed and ready and out the door. got to the relay….. the bottom fell out again…..

This time I chose to see the positive, to choose joy, to smile.  =Clouds moved, took rain with them, saw a beautiful rainbow….. the weather was perfect the rest of the night and the next day. I even stayed up till 3 in the morning before crashing in the tent.  slept 2 1/2 hours and woke up feeling better than I had friday morning.

We all have a choice, to live each day as if it were that horrible Monday morning (or the Friday that feels like Monday) …. the everything goes wrong morning, the weekend is sooooo far away morning. How about choosing the joyful morning.  The one full of possibilities and surprises. You cant appreciate the rainbow until you go through the rain.

Well Saturday night at bath time I noticed it looked red and a little puffy around the side of his thumb nail. Sunday morning it was raised and had some white in the middle. By Sunday night you could tell it was infected. This morning (Monday) it looked bad. but nothing compared to lunch time when I picked him up from school for his doctors apt:

Yes it hurts, its infected bad

The doctor we got had a brain fluff our something. He came in the door saying he had his needle ready was Jacob ready? Uhm hello he is a little boy who is already scared this doctor is going to hurt him. He knows all about needles mostly from the dentist who shoves a big one into his mouth every time he goes. and unfortunately he has to go ALOT. Genetics.  Dumb Doctor. He says oh I am just kidding be a big boy and don’t cry. WHOA my mommy stuff just jumps right up and says STOP.  I got mad in 2.3 nano seconds and right lately I cant control my temper. Doctor saw this and didn’t say another thing about big boys not crying. If your scared you cry, if your hurt you cry, if your mad enough to cry then you cry.

Anyway  he then says out loud and to my already scared and crying son that he needs to pop it and drain it, with a needle. But oh it won’t hurt at all….. no need to cry it won’t hurt….  So I try to get Jacob calmed down, telling him it won’t hurt I even get him to let me touch the blistered part so he can see it won’t hurt. He is ok He is not happy but ok, Doctor comes in and tells Jacob to go ahead and close his eyes, I put my hand over his eyes (Jacobs idea) cause I am holding him, and doctor proceeds to pop the infected area with a huge needle ( I was looking ) and of course it squirts all over me and completely misses the doctor, where is the justice in that?!?!?!

There is fluid in it, but you can see the puss at the "bottom" yuck

So Jacob is ok with this, it didn’t hurt at all to pop it, but then that lovely doctor who insisted that it would not hurt, who had me telling Jacob it would not hurt that doctor with out a warning or anything starts to SQUEEZE out the rest of the poison. HELLO!!!!!   IT HURTS!!!! ARGH he lied. he knew he was going to have to squeeze it did he just apply pressure? no he mashed it from one end sliding to the other to force out the poison. Why would he tell my son it wouldn’t hurt if he was going to hurt him? Ugh made me lie to him to. Ok so he didn’t MAKE me but still….

Jacob is ok now. He really doesn’;t like doctors much though. I also told him he would get amoxicillin and the doctor gave him Augmentin instead. That stuff is gross, makes Jacob gag. So He got a new toy (some cheap gun) and ice cream and chocolate milk. I hate lieing to him and I hate hurting him. But his finger should get better. He has to take the antibiotics, use neosporin and if it swells up again we go back. I will just make sure a different doctor is there when we go back.

Wow they match... all on their own

Catch up is catch up… I work while the children are in school. I get off at 3… sometimes later. I finish whatever I am working on at 3 then I leave. So far it works for everyone. Now if we get busy busy I am sure the off at 3 is over. I like it though I don’t feel so guilty for not being home because I am home.

So anyway leave me a comment, ask me a question, send me an email. I can and will answer now. But its after midnight…. I took a pain pill and did it knock me out? nope. but I better try to go to sleep anyway… got to work tomorrow.

Night everyone!

Now 3 weeks ago we had 2 inside dogs, 1 outside dog, 1 cat, 2 parakeets, 1 cockatiel, 1 goldfish, 1 hamster, 300 guppies and 2 chickens. Well since then we have lost 1 chicken (I didn’t eat him) and gained a puppy.

The children found a small puppy (vet says she was 4 weeks old) in the filed across from our house. On my birthday no less   Caitlin wants to keep her, says she will pay for everythign and take care of her 100% on her own. Ask her how much she likes vet bills or getting up at 2 am for a potty call.

We have a very friendly although on the dumb side black lab mix she is a year old. She may be wanting a new home, also the birds have to go. no time to give the m the attention they deserve and every one keeps telling them to shut up. KC (dog #1) and Allie (my cat) are here to stay. everyone else is negotionable, want a pet? give me a call I will deliver them with food, toys, supplies and a great big smile! )

Still no computer at home. I am averaging once a month at the library and I don’t always remember to stop by my blog. Don’t give up on me lol. In another month or two we will have Internet back at the house. I just have to take care of more important things first.

So take care my friends, in this new year trust more in God and lean on Him who will not turn or change. Pray for our soon to be president. I don’t agree with most of his view points but he will be my president and only God can touch and change his heart. Take care and my love and prayers go out to everyone.

We have no internet at home right now. Havn’t for three months and not likely to have it again for another two. Internet or Christmas presents? internet or heat in my house? It is not such a hard choice. 

My EMT-Basic class is going well. Only two and half more weeks. I am carrying an 88.3 average. Not too bad but then again I have always been good at book work its the hands on stuff that worries me. Puting it all together. But I feel like the Lord has sent me in this direction. To give back, to help out to be where I am needed, to help others. If this is His will I have no doubt He will see me through it. 

Work is another story. Work itself is going alright. I can do the job just fine. I am doing different things I am more of a jack of all trades at work. I work at a Graphic Design and Commercial Printing place. I do it all. Not all of it but some of everthing. I am not perfect lol I am far from it and yesterday I almost crashed the central computer. That woudl have been bad.

We as a family our having a hard time finding a balance. I can not tell the last time I actually cooked a home cooked meal. Not sure chicken and rice cooked at 1 in teh morning counts. Was good though. My freezer is stocked with microwave meals, my cabinets have instant meals, chef boy r dee and soups. We have sandwich and cereal stuff. The kids are eating, I am not starving them but still its not like it was where they got at least four good square meals a week with three lazy meals. you know? On class nights I don’t get to see them at all except for the hour before school. Its hard. When I am home it is wierd I am restless and cant sit still I am used to going, they are used to being on their own, I have become obsolete. In trying to help my family, trying to get us back on our feet, trying not to go nuts alone everyday while they are in school. I have become …. an absentee parent.

Someone has ben skipping school, homework is not getting done, house is a wreck, My Jacob is changing into a different child and my older two. they think they are grown and don’t need me anymore. Are they wrong? Doesn’t feel like it sitting here in my seat.

We have our god days and our bad. Today is good. Its saturday I had EMT class. Everyone came with me. We practice loading and unloading the Ambulance, I got to drive. Jacob and Christopher played hide and seek, Caitlin played a car wreck victim. Mike helped out as well. I find myself living for the weekends… Everything is getting pushed out of center and I am trying to find a balance. For you parents who work, I understand the struggle, the guilt and also the necessity of your having to work, maybe we would all choose to be home if we could. I would choose to work only when they were in school and be home when they were if I had such a choice but for now. well Friends pray for me and my family. I have a strong faith and a good support system in my family. I know we will see it through to  a balance in our life its just hte getting there is taking longer than I would like.